The Perfect Non-Gamer Girl | Critical Intel | The Escapist
Dating is hard for everyone, but especially so for gamer girls, it seems. And if you surround yourself with non-gamers, they don't understand. 10 Things You Should Know About Dating A Gamer benefited from this before, it's probably best not to let this one slide too often, as it invites. When you're a gamer dating a non-gamer, things can become a bit difficult. Here's a quick lesson in the do's and don'ts of dating a non-gamer.
She doesn't play Minecraft. She doesn't play complex board games like Axis and Allies or Arkham Horror. She's probably the only person in the developed world who's never played Angry Birds.
Do’s and Don’ts of Dating a Non-Gamer
She does play bassoon, guitar, violin, and piano, though Harmonix would have to release some pretty specific peripherals to leverage those skills. Danielle isn't a gamer in any sense of the word - and that's part of the reason I love her.
I can see your outrage buffering already. Understand me when I say that if Danielle was a gamer, I'd love her just as much. Not any more or less, just the same. But with all the articles and forum posts out there about the "perfect gamer girlfriend" which doesn't exist, even if you remove the word "gamer" I thought I'd offer a different opinion. Because dating - and marrying - a non-gamer hasn't driven me away from games, it's actually made me appreciate and understand them more.
Danielle and I are different people. While I grew up in Hawaii playing Genesis and having adventures in the brush, she was in Delaware playing music and reenacting musicals in her backyard. While she was trekking the rainforest in Ecuador getting tropical diseases, I was doing research in London medical museums full of year-old anatomical specimens. Different upbringings are what make relationships interesting, and one of those differences happens to be that Danielle never played videogames as a kid, at least not after a childhood obsession with Prince of Persia.
Now I've known more than a few gamers who saw this as something to be remedied in their spouse. That's understandable, to a certain extent. If games are a big part of your life and your cultural touchstones, there's a natural urge to share that joy with the person you love.
I know some people who have accomplished that - couples that plug through Borderlands and Diablo together - and I know people who've lost relationships because they pushed games too hard on their partner.
Danielle isn't interested in playing games, so I know our relationship will never carry over to a multiplayer server somewhere, just like she knows that I'll likely never be a talented enough musician to for a jazz duo.
We have enough respect for each other that I'm never going to force her and she's never going to force me. Okay, I did insist she play a little bit of Journey, though that had nothing to do with converting her to games and everything to do with Journey.
We do, however, talk about games a lot. Like any good partners, we want to know what each other are up to. I'll ask how her work and Yoga classes are going, and she shows an interest in what I'm playing.
She reads my column with pleasure. Though she's never played BioShock or Call of Duty, we'll discuss the controversies surrounding them over pasta. She's brilliant at it. Most of the time she crafts better arguments and makes better points than half the game journalists I know, because unburdened by the culture, history and prejudices of gaming, she asks different questions than they would and draws different conclusions.
Danielle is what games and game writing often needs - an outside voice. This was advanced-level game design stuff - she'd leapfrogged most of the foundational concepts and gone right to the player's emotional investment in their avatar. Most people don't think about that, even after years of playing.
I considered the question, at first I thinking I felt more attached to characters I created - after all, we literally inhabit the consciousness of RPG avatars and make them reflect our preferences. Finally, I told her that while the individualization of RPG characters reflected my choices more directly, I actually felt deeper emotional connection to created characters because they follow a set narrative arc and can surprise me. In other words, I find outside characters more relatable than ones I inhabit and design.
This is something I'd never have discovered if Danielle didn't point it out to me. Again and again in our relationship, she's given me insight into the medium by making me articulate the foundations of game design and asking questions that might not occur to someone who's intimately familiar with the culture. Why are fantasy and sci-fi settings more prevalent than historical ones? There are a number of reasons as to why she may feel inferior to women who play games, yet she should tell herself that she is a person who deserves to be loved.
Confidence is a major facet of self-image, something which she seems to not have very much of. It is a rather draining experience to have someone tell you something like this, and the repetition of such threats just numb you.
Once they cease to shock you, the threats just get boring and make you want to stop for that reason. My recommendation is to just soldier through and go through the appropriate channels for restitution. Keep yourself safe in case one of those clowns decides to act.
The Real Unicorns: Gamer Girls w/ Non-Gamer Guys | One-Sixth Geek
Featured Today 24 Looking For Attention via: The person who wrote this is most likely young, dumb, and restless; they will almost undoubtedly outgrow these tendencies. This Whisper confession is pretty cringy in and of itself. Vanity is one of the main reasons that people try and do anything related to the media and it is enticing. Comedic ranting, hyperactive playing, and the like are usually pretty popular it seems.
From my experience, as well, Whisper is not the place you want to try and fish for ratings on because its users can be quite unreliable.
Of course they are, especially when they tell you that there is not a single person out there who will love you for your hobbies. Most guys seem to like girls who partake in some of their hobbies; I might be optimistic on this, but I like my own partner to share at least enough of my hobbies so that we can bond over things.
It really hurts to be told that you are incapable of being loved simply because you do something which does not harm anyone, especially when you are a young adolescent.
Why is it so weird? Forming those bonds between others is difficult to do, especially since there is only so much that we can really know about the people who surround us. This is a perfect example of how playing games is irrelevant to who you are and what you look like.
10 Things You Should Know About Dating A Gamer
Video games are a great way to find connections, but only if people feel up to being open and receptive; they are ways of expressing ourselves and escaping life.
This stereotyping leads to a lot of alienation on all fronts thanks to social pressure being applied on all sides in an attempt to force you to behave a certain way. The woman who wrote this Whisper piece definitely feels it and should be free to express herself just as she pleases by enjoying whatever it is that she wants to enjoy.
It should be a base freedom that you can pursue your own avenues to happiness through entertainment like this, but cultural attitudes dictate that it can only be afforded to certain people depending on the country in which you live. This is not the most healthy as it can influence people to make irrational decisions as well as distance themselves from others.
It hurts everyone when this takes place because it limits our ability to be who we are. If a woman wants to be a gamer, let her, if she wants to watch anime, let her be herself. It is a predator that can strike anyone, anywhere, at any time. It is just plainly horrible to not feel like you have any other person to relate to, to talk to, to love, or anything. This loneliness can lead to other symptoms and should really be looked after. So I feel terrible for this woman.
I really hope that she is getting the help that she needs to properly cope with this and work on through it; the same goes for any of you who are reading this.
When many of us get married, we think that everything is going to be happiness and sunshine all the time, but in reality, a lot of folks become withdrawn and isolated from the rest of the world through any number of means; this can be exacerbated by having kids. Everyone needs friends and everyone in a relationship needs to have people other than their spouses and children if applicable to socialize with. It helps to reinvigorate them and possibly give them new ideas as to how best go about problems which may arise in their marriage.
They like to express themselves in the ways that they want to, but they also want acceptance from their peers which creates tension. That tension can often lead to a bullying problem. Many of us have experienced bullying in one form or another and have been able to move on, others, however, have not been so lucky. It goes a long way to show a little kindness, you might not change the world by doing this, but you may have just changed the world for that one person.
Freedom of choice is something that we value in our Western sensibilities and when that choice is denied, it causes us to feel sad for the victims in many cases.
10 Things You Should Know About Dating A Gamer
This woman is clearly accomplished and knows how to have fun, I hope that she can find someone who will help her not be quite so alone in this world, that would be a happy ending to this story.
We want to keep them in our lives without any awkward interactions, hoping that they will speak up first or that those affections will disappear.
Unfortunately, it is almost never that easy and we have to take the initiative. I know that our society tells women to not be so bold about their feelings towards others, but sometimes they might just have to take it upon themselves. A lot of people do find it attractive when a woman takes initiative in trying to instigate a relationship. Unrequited love is bad for the heart, but it is better to know than not. In this case, it seems fairly warranted. It is sad to think about going through your entire life never hearing a compliment like that when you really want to hear it, that is.
For those of you who feel down, just know that there will always be someone who thinks this of you. Friendships are a lot of work and do not normally come about out of sheer force of will; thankfully, that is. First and foremost there seems to be a lot of self-conscious hatred towards women who game.
Whenever you join a community, you tacitly agree to accept the bad with the good; it then becomes part of your responsibility to try and improve what you see are ills within said community. Now, I will admit that I could be misinterpreting what this person is trying to say, so you be the judge. There are a number of reasons that she could be seen as being different from others in her choice of music and the love of horror movies, but both of those are socially acceptable, at least individually.
In regards to the choice of loving heavy metal, it likely has to do with the way that the genre is constructed. People see it as being nothing but screaming, loud guitar riffs, and all about the devil. A change of cultural attitudes might be needed to solve this and related problems. Speaking to the guitar playing, this should not be considered that unusual in a world with the likes of Lita Ford, Joan Jett, and Sheryl Crow who are not only prolific in their recordings, but also highly influential on music as we know it today.
Women can do pretty much anything that men can. Seriously, for what reason would she have to lie about these things which can readily be disproven?